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"Walk By Faith, Not By Sight" 2 Corinthians 5:7

Why I am an Anomaly with 50 Shades of Grey

Colossians 3:19 “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”


Before I begin, I want to make a few disclaimers because I believe this is a touchy topic for some.  First, my writing is based off my personal beliefs and opinions. You do not have to agree with me, but I ask that you stay respectful.  Second, I have not read 50 Shades of Grey (which will be explained why below), but have done some extensive research on the premise and summary, as well as what the BDSM community focuses on.  Most importantly, though, I am not perfect. This is not a lecture to anyone, and if it was, it would be directed towards me. I’m a sinner just like everyone else and believe that every sin, from a little white lie to murder are treated as equal in the eyes of God.  There are many sins that I am working on and am constantly trying to strengthen my faith with God.  That being said, let’s dig in.


A few weeks ago, I started to write a post regarding the new movie trailer released for “50 Shades of Grey” by E.L. James.  I wanted to touch on the many reasons why I am one of the minority girls who refuse to read the book or watch the movie.  I had done some scriptural research and thought a lot about what I was going to writ, but never wrote more than half of a page to maybe on page on the topic.  It wasn’t anything dealing with the topic; I just simply became extraordinarily busy with moving.  I had the fullest intention of getting back to the original content, only to find that today I had no clue where my was a few weeks ago, and couldn’t stop thinking about something my boyfriend said this past weekend regarding the trailer.  We had gone to see Lucy Saturday evening and the “50 Shades of Grey” trailer, the extended version, came on.  As we watched, in complete discomfort, Josh noted how this book/movie is a socially acceptable version of porn, but is targeted towards women.  I couldn’t agree more.  It reminded me of the ways in which many women read the book; while in public, many put a different book cover over the spine.  One of my friends commented on how uncomfortable and embarrassed she felt when she read the book in public. Women often read this book to feel a rise, which is essentially why many people view pornography.  As a Christian (please note, I am NOT a perfect human and sin too, so what I write, I also work on in my walk with God), we should view pornography as sinful because of what scripture says.  Matthew 5:28 says, “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”  This applies to women too.  This means that anytime a lustful desire is present, there is sin.  So, when reading a book or viewing a movie like “50 Shades of Grey,” with the intention of wanting to feel the rush and rise of sex, the intention or purpose of reading is lustful.  50 Shades praises and promotes this type of “relationship;” one strictly formed on lustful, human desires, and not a deeper emotional and spiritual connection.

This lack of connection and a real relationship within the story also promotes dominance and violence, which are not intended for a relationship, biblically speaking.  The book focuses on a BDSM “relationship” that is formed on dominance and submission through intercourse.  Aside from promoting sex outside of biblical standards (between man and wife), it is a relationship that deviates from any love or emotional and spiritual connection.  When a man and woman join in marriage, they say vows to each other and in front of friends, family, and a priest/pastor who is representing God by reading from The Word.  our ringsThe vows often take form as, “Do you take so-‘n-so as your lawfully wedded husband/wife to love and cherish until death do you part?”  When making an oath, the bible clearly states in Matthew 5:33, “Again, you have heard that it was said to people long ago, ‘Do not break your oath, but fulfill to the Lord the vows you have made.”  When vowing to love and endure, but then breaking the oath by harm and violence, the marriage becomes broken both in the human stand point, but also in God’s eyes because the vows were broken.

Within the BDSM community, relationships are based purely on intercourse, where full pleasure is reached by pain.  The submissive has pain inflicted on her/him, while the dominant inflicts the pain.  It is a twisted way to get an unbiblical rise, one that our society seems to overlook.  Domestic violence will result in charges and arrest, but BDSM doesn’t.  By playing “50 Shades of Grey” on the big screen, not only is pornography being promoted and seen as socially acceptable, but so is violence and pain, resulting in an unhealthy and unbiblical relationship.

Now, some may argue that the Bible supports dominant relationships, referencing different verses that say, “Wives, submit to your husbands…”  However, we often forget the context that is in.  When man was created (Genisis 1-2), he named all the animals.  However, Genesis 2:20b says, “But, for Adam no suitable helper was found.”  Eve was created from his rib as a result; to be his helper.  When the bible speaks about wives submitting to their husbands, God did not mean it as a master/slave or dominant/submissive relationship, as is seen in “50 Shades of Grey.”  What the Bible instructs is a relationship that is a mirror of the relationship between Christ and the church.  Isaiah 62:5 highlights this type of relationship: “As a young man marries a young woman, so will your Builder marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you.”  God views the images1church as His bride, caring for her, loving her, encouraging her, rejoicing over her, and building her up in faith and truth.  When the Bible references wives submitting to their husbands, what it means is that husbands would be the head of the household and lead their wives, while wives should work alongside their husbands as helpers, being led into godliness.  It is a give-take relationship.

What I find wrong with “50 Shades of Grey” is the acceptance of society.  As Christians, we need to stand up for what we believe in and promote healthy, godly relationships within a world that is rotting away with sin.

Inspired by: The Matt Walsh Blog

  • “When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, and lustful pleasures.” -Galatians 5:19
  • “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” -Matthew 5:28
  • “Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.” -Ephesians 4:19
  • “Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves with the same way of thinking, for whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, so as to live for the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for human passions but for the will of God.  For the time that is past suffices for doing what the Gentiles want to do, living in sensuality, passions, drunkenness, orgies, drinking parties, and lawless idolatry.” -1 Peter 4:1-3
  • “As a young man marries a young woman, so will your Builder marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you.” -Isaiah 62:5
  • “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”  -Colossians 3:19
  • “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone.  I will make a helper suitable for him’…So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh.  Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.  The man said, ‘This is on bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is untied to his wife, and they become one flesh.” -Genesis 2:18-24

About Shannon

Hi! I'm Shannon, a lover of dogs, coffee, books, words, and Jesus! I hold a Bachelor's in English, with a minor in Communications from Florida State University (Go 'Noles!). Take a peak around, meet Tucker, my rescue mutt, and say 'Hi!'

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This entry was posted on August 14, 2014 by in Faith, Health, Life, Life, Thoughts and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , .


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