"Walk By Faith, Not By Sight" 2 Corinthians 5:7
This will be my second attempt at this prompt due to some lack of intelligence earlier with WordPress. I had written my entire response to what I wanted to be throughout the years, only to close the window by accident at the last second, not posting the content. The post didn’t save as a draft, either. Sigh….So, here it goes again.
Many people had big dreams as children, wanting to grow up to be a ballerina, fireman, princess, or veterinarian. I never really sought out those jobs, what have become a cliché for childhood jobs. I was always different, odd you may even say. I grew up as a relentless horse lover, having posters, newspaper clippings, and drawings slapped to every inch of my room, while also positioning my herd of Breyer horses just so, to give off the best display and show my favorites, while also
correctly displaying that horses move in herds. I dreamed of having a horse in my walk-in closet, where it would obviously live because the city didn’t have enough room for it, and I didn’t want anyone to steal him. It made perfect sense. I had all the ideas, dreams, and wishes, but not for a pony. I wanted to full-fledged thing. I was somewhat of a horse nerd, if you want to call it that. But, more importantly, I was a city kid. It didn’t really fit. A little girl dreaming of ranches, and rolling pastures of green grass speckled with browns and whites and grays and blacks of warm horse bodies grazing, though I was surrounded by skyscrapers. I grew up in the downtown area of Salt Lake City, Utah, living strategically placed between the skyscrapers, the freeway, and the airport. It was the essence of city life to me. The noise, the bustle, the people. I loved it! But, I also longed to own a horse. That’s where my dream job came into play.
Like I said, my dream job wasn’t your stereotypical childhood dream. I can’t think of one time as a child that I wanted to be a princess (note, I didn’t say now, as an adult. hehe!). Instead, I wanted to be surrounded by horses, dirt, manure, grass, hay, anything horse. Once I figured out that horses have babies and don’t follow the standards that children often think of with the delivery of babies (such as the stork bringing in the new kid), I wanted to be a part. I wanted to breed horses for a living. It was my dream for as long as I can remember. To me, being around horses all day everyday was complete bliss. It was paradise, a taste of heaven. I loved everything about horses, and would relish in the smell. My best friend and I both had that love and dream. We often debated whether it would be best to be a veterinarian because that way we could be around all animals, but it always came back to the horse. I personally couldn’t be around a hurt animal or one that was in pain or sick. It would be too much. So, that’s where horse breeding came into play.
Who wouldn’t want to breed their own horses, anyway? I thought it would be amazing to live on a huge ranch and see so many horses and know they were all mine. Of course, I soon came to realize that I would have to sell some to make a profit, but I also came to the conclusion that people would seek me out to breed their mares with my healthy, strong, full-blooded stallions.
As I grew a little, I got into The Phantom Stallion series by Terri Farley. It was a series dedicated to the mustangs of the West. Something that was dear to my heart. My best friend, Anna and I always were hearing of the roundups that were taking place to kill the magnificent animals at slaughter houses and turn them into dog food. It was awful. Farley’s stories even touched on those politics. That’s when a new goal was set in place. Not only would I become a horse breeder, but I would train and rescue mustangs to be kind animals. That way they would be safe, and still enjoyed.
I learned everything I could about horses. But, through that educational process, I also learned that you would have to be a special horse breeder to make any income and not live paycheck to paycheck. I have never been one to reach to own a million billion dollars, but I want to be able to put food on the table and provide for my family. As I became older, I realized that that wasn’t going to happen in the horse breeding business.
It wasn’t until high school, though, that that fact hit and reality sunk in. I had to get real with my future. I took a fashion and interior design class that focused on each topic for a semester in tenth grade. I immediately fell in love. I have always been the crafty, creative sort, and that’s what attracted me. I also loved the teacher. I found that the interior design concept was actually a part of a four-year program at my high school, called the Academy of Architecture, Construction, and Interior Design. I immediately became involved, becoming a part of the Advisory Board, attending events, and even becoming a student spokesperson. I completed all four classes in three years, and dual enrolled in my last year to be the first and only student to take interior design courses at the college level in high school. I was able to even take on an internship at Rink Design Partnership, Inc., one summer. It was a great experience; one that I will never forget. I was a natural. I taught myself AutoCAD, and was told I had an eye for color from my boss, who was a professional, certified interior designer.
It was a lot of fun, but after my internship, I realized that the joy and fun I found within interior design was just a hobby, and was not something I wanted to pursue. It took choosing a college a little bit harder to decide on since I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I had previously looked into colleges for their interior design courses, making note of the best programs. I even considered going to the Art Institute of Jacksonville, Florida. Though frustrating to not have a clear path, I was happy in the long run and still am. It wasn’t a waste of time, like I first thought it was to pursue interior design. On the contrary, it saved time, and wasted money on a college tuition that I wouldn’t enjoy.
So, I came to Florida State University with no direction, as an undeclared student. I got involved with an Exercise Science program, thinking it would be cool to be a Sports Injury Specialist. After all, my big brother had injured himself a lot playing sports and we both thought it was fascinating how physical therapy works and what not. But, about three weeks into the program I realized something. I hate doctors, hospitals, blood, science, touching people I don’t know, nutrition was kicking my butt (the class, not the concept), and I had absolutely no desire to go to medical school and prolong the process for graduation even longer. So, I settled on English.
I have been an English major now since my freshman year and I love it. I am in my senior year now at FSU, and am focusing on Editing, Writing, and Media (a fancy way of saying journalism, in my opinion). I have loved every part of the program, even the difficult classes. I have learned so much, and have been given some great opportunities. Though, I want to become published some day, it still is not what I want to pursue.
I want to work for the military as a civilian. That’s my dream job, and I know for a fact, it is my calling. I have been able to interact with many military personnel over the past four years, some pleasant encounters, other relationships gone sour, but one thing still stands; I respect those who are sacrificing their lives for mine. I want to help them like they have helped America.
A year ago, last summer, my church shared a mission that they are working alongside with. I do not remember the exact name, but I know that the Baptist community is seeking to build a church outside of every single Marine base in the world! How amazing is that!? Ever since I heard of that mission,it has been on my heart and mind, and I know that God wants me to be a part. Whether that is actually working with that mission specifically, I am not sure, but I know that I am supposed to be working with the military. I want to be able to share the Gospel to military personnel. Each day this dream becomes stronger, and it also becomes more clearthat this is my calling. Ever since God revealed this to me, so many doors and opportunities have opened up. I now intern at the Student Veterans’ Center of FSU (SVC), and am also working with FSU Communications’ Creative Services to build the new SVC website. Though it may not be first-hand aid, such as sending care packages, or building a church, it has given me the opportunity to assist student veterans, showing them where to go and how to go about continuing their education after the military. I am able to help the transition process from the military life to civilian life, as well as assist student veterans specifically with editing papers for free. Through all of this, I have been able to share my faith, as well! I want to continue that. I want to encourage military personnel in God’s Word and share the Gospel. I want to be the hands and feet of Jesus. Though it may not be anywhere close to breeding horses, it is the best job I could ever ask for or dream of.