"Walk By Faith, Not By Sight" 2 Corinthians 5:7
J.S. Park posted a great post today, answering a question regarding “soul mates.” Though blatantly honest, what a helpful, and uplifting post. The honesty is what got to me. More often than not, when we search fro answers from God’s Word, we are secretly looking for a quick-fix that will fit into this perfect, fluffy image of the world we wish we lived in. That is not the case. We need honesty, and that is one thing that I loved about this post. It helped me refocus my eyes on God, and not on my significant other. Park talks about how we become so focused on our loved one, that we lose sight of what God has in store for us. I especially liked how Park mentioned, “It can lead to a paralyzing fear if you target-lock on someone and lose them. It can make us stop working on anything, thinking that marriage “completes you,”…” This is something that I struggle with on a daily basis.
Almost a year ago, I was “dumped” by who-is-now, my ex-fiance. I was devastated. It was an emotionally traumatic experience for me; one that has affected me in more ways than many can believe. I look back now and realize how he was not the fit for me. Though I am devastated, and scared to be hurt again, by studying God’s Word I can hope. However, I think that my hope is often in the wrong place. I am in a wonderful relationship now, that I would like to see go farther. This is something that I pray for; I pray for a husband, and more specifically for this specific person to be “the one.” There is nothing wrong with that. God wants us to be brutally honest. Even if we don’t vocalize it, God knows our hearts. He knows what we desire, what we are thinking. I often worry that I’m going to be alone and single for the rest of my life because of this. I have a fear now of losing the one I now have. He is a wonderful boyfriend and I’m not ready to let him go. I’m not saying that we are in a bad place, or anything, but what I need to remember is that God has a plan for me. Maybe Andrew is the one, maybe he isn’t. What is most important is that I rely on God to send me the right one; a man who is going to encourage me in the Word and in my walk with God. And, as Park discusses, the most important thing you, I, or anyone else can do is focus on strengthening our own relationship with the Lord. He hears us. He loves us. He knows our deepest desires. I’m not sure how He will answer our prayers, but I know without a doubt He will. I need to take strength in that. Rafael, my ex, was not good for me. Though I was in pain, and I still hurt with anxiety, I see all that God has blessed me with or all that He has done as a result from that experience. It led me to who I am now, many opportunities I have, the wonderful man I am seeing currently, and most importantly, to God himself. I’m not saying that seeking God will immediately change all your problems, and you will see your “soulmate” the moment you start praying, but I can guarantee you that by starting and developing a relationship with God, you will see Him in all that you do, and He will bless you in ways you can’t imagine. I fully believe that God has a plan for each and every one of us. We need to rely on Him fully, and not seek fulfillment from another human. After all, we are imperfect beings.
Lord, I pray that as I seek you, I will understand that You have a wonderful plan for me. You know the desires of my heart, Lord, and you know that I long for companionship here on Earth. Lord, I have a hard time with focusing on this, while I am looking for my “one.” You are my One, Lord. You should always be my One. I am sorry for all the times I get off track and lose focus. I pray that as your will, I will be blessed with someone, Lord. But, I also pray that, though I desire to be a loving wife to a godly man one day, that I will never lose sight of You. You have blessed me so much already, and I am thankful for all that you have shown me through my past experiences. Thank you for showing me a poisonous relationship. You know it was hard for me, and still is, but Your Word says to never fear. Though our fleshy selfs fail all the time, You never will God. I pray that we will all be reminded of Your strength and power, and that we will seek you out daily. In Jesus precious name I pray, Amen.