Today is Father’s Day, a day that I tend to look over. Many could argue that I hate Father’s Day, and that might be slightly true. I also hate the cliches that people say when they do hate Father’s Day. Yea, it sucks your dad isn’t around, but mine isn’t either. I don’t like everyone who changes their profile picture on FaceBook for just one day to a picture of them and their dad, whether or not he is actively involved in their life. Obviously, if he means so much to you, why would you change your picture for just a day? Why are you giving him a shout out online, anyways. Shouldn’t you be spending time with this awesome dad of yours instead of having your face glued to a computer or phone screen? Actually tell him in person.
My problem is that my father died when I was 13 years old due to cancer. It was a difficult thing to deal with, and still is at times. But, what makes Father’s Day even more obnoxious is that when everyone is going on about how awesome their dads are while they are not even paying attention to them because they are tweeting, there are those out there who would love to just have one day to talk to their father. My relationship with my dad was, well, almost nonexistent. My parents divorced when I was eleven and even before that, my dad wasn’t an active parent. Usually, when I share memories about him, they are fond memories, because that is what we expected of dad, such as watching Star Trek all day. It brings a smile to my face every time I watch Star Trek now, old or new. But the reality was that my dad was so disconnected that Star Trek and other things became more of his family it seemed at times. He didn’t spend time with us, nor did he try. I don’t fully blame him because I know he was ill with his Depression and other medical issues. But, its hard to see and hear of great opportunities my friends have with their dads; the fun, excitement, love, adventure. Things I never experienced. I would love to be able to talk to him just to know why. Why did he let things go the way the had? Why did he break up a marriage? Why didn’t he try harder?
It sounds like I have anger issues with my dad, and even though I don’t, I do sometimes feel frustration. I’m confused about why he did the things he did or didn’t do the things he should have done. I wonder what his real thoughts were for me, my siblings, my family. I always wonder what it would be like if things didn’t go the way they had. What would my dad be like? My sisters always tell me he was a fun dad when they were little and wish that my brother and I could’ve experienced that. That is what really pains me. Why did he have to change so much? Sometimes, I feel gypped because I was left out of what was an awesome dad. Sometimes, I don’t even know what to think.
My advice to those who have fathers still around, though, is to get your nose out of your phone or away from the computer, and spend some quality time with your dad. You never know what you are missing out on until it’s too late.