"Walk By Faith, Not By Sight" 2 Corinthians 5:7
Fight or flight? Fight or flight? This was the thought that passed through my mind constantly this past semester, only with more colorful language. What to do? How to handle this situation? I was tired of being taken advantage of just because I’m nice. I may be nice, but I’m no doormat. You cannot walk all over me. And yet, they kept on doing so. Sneaky sneaky girls. On of the many reasons I tend to keep my distance from my same gender. Too much cattiness, sneakiness, drama, and manipulation. Plus, guys are cuter anyway, right?
It was a constant battle physically, mentally, emotionally. Did I want to exert the energy to be around them and deal with the manipulation and hurt feelings. They didn’t even appreciate me and did my job anyway. But, I liked holding a responsibility, knowing that I was helping shape the organization. Well, kind of, if they actually let me do my job.
Then came the day when I started working at a paid position. I had to make the bills, and certainly they would understand, especially her, who confided in me with her financial struggles the previous semester. Then why are they being so witchy? Why are they saying it is imperative for me to miss work just to bring them some crap that they could have gotten from me any other time earlier that week? Usually, I would pick the evasive action, buck up and deal with it, not wanting confrontation, but this was the last straw.
I lied to my boss, saying it was academically related to miss work on such short notice. Muttering more profound language under my breath, I stomped over to my room, grabbed what was needed, as well as what was needed to hold my position and marched to the designated meeting spot, where I found no one there! After multiple phone bombings from me to the other girls’ phones, one showed up, not understanding what was going on. Like a sugar-coated pill, she was sweet on the outside, but horrid on the inside. I looked directly at her and called her out on the rumors going on about me and my personal life. “If you really knew me, you know that that would NOT be true,” I said coldly. “I’m sick and tired of people talking about me.” I was shaking, physically shaking.
Finally, one of the one’s causing today’s drama showed up. I dropped the boxes by her feet, speaking through my teeth. “Here are the boxes and here is the jump drive. I can’t be missing work for this. I quit.” I turned on my heel and headed back to work, without a second glance back. Pleading for forgiveness, my phone immediately went off with texts.
I could’ve explained the situation more, but it wasn’t even worth it. As I made my way back to work, tears started to well up in my eyes. Anger. I was genuinely angry. And yet, I was relieved. A weight was taken off my shoulders and I knew that I did the right thing by stepping down from my position.
A typical dream for many to say such things when stepping down from a position and I had made it reality that day. When asking for advice on the situation later, I was given the answer, “If you didn’t fail at some things in life, you wouldn’t learn anything.” Not a fail, but a learning experience, and an opportunity to move forward and take on the world.